you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
