hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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