erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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