i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
