i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
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