Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
