I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
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