so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
