You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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