hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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