On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize