i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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