u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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