Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
