Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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