His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
