You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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