I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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