This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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