I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
