It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
