If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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