Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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