Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
All the doctor said was why
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
