I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
it's like iHOP with fire
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
