dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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