I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
