I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
