Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
