why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
