we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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