forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
