Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm like, not good at living.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
