I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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