i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I had to cum in my sink.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
