My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
