32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
