Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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