Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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