youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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