no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
