when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
