if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
this hospital has no fireball
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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