Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize