I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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