Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
