she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
