his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
How's work?
Spinning.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He? As in you personified your dick?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
