My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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