Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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