Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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