Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
The beer is more important than you right now.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
