i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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