I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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