I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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