Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
