No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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