This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
