I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize