Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Enjoy the penises
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
