remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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