You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize