The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I yelled at your uterus for you.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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