I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
