You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
