I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I am one with the molecules
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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