cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I woke up under a house in Key West
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
