My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
