I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
