I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize