its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
