Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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