You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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