whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
