she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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