; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
