Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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